After a close guy friend read yesterday's post about my memorable lunch with Mr. Nice Guy, he emailed his two cents regarding my failed attempt to ask my new friend out. With his permission, I've recreated our conversation here. It's worth repeating. The only changes I've deleted a few things to keep people anonymous and of course, I had to correct a few grammatical editors-I am an English major.
Presenting a twenty-something single male perspective.....
HIM: You should just get it over with and ask the next guy out you meet that seems cool. You sure do talk about it enough, now it's time to put your money where your mouth is.
ME: Can't really ask the guy out from yesterday-kinda crosses the business line. Plus, I'm not in a rush to be pursuing anyone. I prefer to be pursued BY someone!
HIM: HORRIBLE way to look at it. That comment right there is what's wrong with girls. They're never the ones to take a chance (or rarely) and ask a guy out. It always has to be on the guys shoulders to do all that mess. You can be old-fashioned all you want but that is something that has always gotten on my nerves.
ME: I've asked out guys before. I asked (insert guy’s name here) out myself! Or gave him my card w/o being asked and then he emailed me later to follow up. Just in this case, I'm not in a rush to ask out anyone, at least this early in the game. Maybe towards the end, but while I still want to date, I don't want to tempt karma too much...
HIM: You have never asked a guy out and you know it. Giving a card to a guy without him asking, is as far from asking a guy out as it gets. That my friend, is exactly my point. Girls have this idea that they ask guys out when they don't. Guys have to do all the legwork, call backs, ask for dates ect..... I'm not talking bad about you but girls think if they do something small it's a big deal when it pales in comparison to what guys have to go through. You have it easy. Card shmard, I can't believe you even brought that up.......
But I agree with you about why go on dates when you cant really go further. Why tempt karma.......
ME:I am using your second paragraph for my blog!!!!!!! I won't use your name but can I reprint what you said?
I get your point-you're right, we don't REALLY do it. But do you like when a girl asks you out? Or does that take the fun out of the game?
HIM: Absolutely, women need to know the truth.
Girls make it easier for guys to ask them out depending on the interaction and their approach. I personally LOVE it when a girl initiates something with me. Nothing says sexy and super confident than when a girl has the guts to ask a guy out. Doesn't have to be dinner or anything major, a simple drink and meet up with friends. A girl with confidence is awesome.
ME: Thanks-I'm going to use it today! I can see your point but I also think it works to our disadvantage sometimes. Like when we show we care by making an effort to plan a date or call, guys think the game is gone and/or freak out. It's always been the guys that I treated like crap or didn't care about as much that kept coming back. The others I cared about, saw that I cared and left. I dunno-maybe, I'm wrong. Thoughts?
I'm milking this convo!
HIM: Yeah I can see your point about losing the "thrill of the chase" but for me, I'm 26 now, I’m not 18 years old. When the woman shows the guts to approach me and talk, there are few things more attractive. Don't ever be scared to take a chance to reach out to a guy. You'll never know unless you try.
On that note…
I’m off the market & in the moment!
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