February 15, 2012


Did everyone survive?!?! Valentine's is so much pressure, but I hope everyone had a great holiday whether you're on or off the market! Despite Little Italy being decorated to the max, I hardly noticed the holiday much myself. I've definitely been in a bubble here, immersed in dance classes, voice lessons, auditions and temping in between. This past month has been a real adjustment in terms of maintaining my own schedule and work/fun balance. Mostly work and not a lot of socializing unfortunately-it's hard being a star in training! Having the mental and physical energy to tackle each day despite the daily rejection is not an easy task, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to spend this time pursuing my passions even if I feel like the new old lady at dance calls!

But really, some days like yesterday, just stink! Not rememering combos and flaking out in front of fellow dancers is not my idea of fun!

Which feeds into my next point. I'm getting the vibe that I'm working too hard-as my Broadway baby friend bluntlyb informed me (who is on the new show SMASH btw-tune in!). So I'm working on how to bring some fun back into the equation which brings me back to my initial plan for the new year-PLAY AND HAVE FUN! It's difficult to re-train your mind after 20 + years of pre-worrying, stressing over the little things and waiting for the next person to come along to make you feel the love, whether it's in the form of a job or a relationship, but I'm determined to find that fun and love within now.

So yes, I have been feeling more than a little closed-off socially, especially working on my own 90% of the time (totally see why actors date their directors!). And somewhere in the back of my brain I remember proclaiming that I was going to keep Thursday nights and Saturday nights for JUST FRIENDS/social stuff. And the whole reason I chose to pursue acting full-time was because I have fun when I'm on stage. Time to readjust! Which is what I'm learning about life: it's a constant readjustment to find the equilibrium again whether physically, socially, mentally or otherwise. So I'm breathing through the struggle today and going to keep working.

Whoops-I mean playing!

I'm On the Market & In the Moment!