December 20, 2011
First, I turned 27! Older and wiser? We shall see how the year unfolds, but let's hope so. As much as I love birthdays, and I did have a great one, they are bittersweet every year....but now that I'm 27, I decided it was time for my first blind date! Nothing to report home about but still a little milestone, I'd say.
I'm also acting in Christmas Carol for 13th Street Repertory in the city so have been in rehearsal mania but hey, it's off-off Broadway, baby! Unfortunately, holiday shows dictate not being able to go home for the real thing, but the city is probably the best place to be over Christmas with decorations and festivities galore. I'm learning to make homemade bread and with my Harry Connick Jr. crooning in the background, I shall survive.
And drumroll....this is my last week on the job as a full-time publicist. Starting this Friday, I will officially be a actor, struggling and starving and all that jazz. I'm very nervous as a lack of paycheck is obviously a force to be reckoned with, but I'm also crazily excited about the change of focus as I finally pursue my passion with full force. Don't worry-I'll be sure to update all the up's and down's as I know I'll have more time for writing here (especially with the encouragement of Single Edition!) while spending hours in audition holding rooms. I've been so grateful to have been unconditionally supported by my family, friends and co-workers as I make this transition into a new chapter, and I'm already discovering that new opportunities for income and creativity are starting to flourish. So a big thank you to all of you who have guided me to this new venture-and sent me home with your Olive Garden leftovers for sustenance! THAT is true love :-) I am so grateful for each of you!
It already feels great to be writing again-though strange to see all the chaos of the last weeks neatly wrapped up in a few paragraphs. A few more days at the desk here and then out into the unknown....but since I'm still a publicist at heart, a bit of shameless promotion:
Come see Christmas Carol! (children's version so perfect for families)
I'm On the Market & In the Moment!
November 3, 2011
Ah...the single life.
Needless to say, I can't keep pizza around for that very reason. I have no self-control (surprise, surprise) and have been known to inhale a medium pizza myself and two days of calories with it. Which is why I'm so relieved to have recently learned about the great people over at American Flatbread and Rustic Crust Pizza. Natural and nutritious, this is crust you can trust. Catchy, huh?!
As I've said before, I'm no cook. But their products are easy, quick, delicious and convenient. The organic ready-made pizza crusts and pizza sauce are filled with flavors of parsley, basil and garlic and keep their flavor even without refrigeration and the ONLY ones of their kind that can be stored in the pantry for months, though you will want to gobble them up before then! I'm just relieved because they are available in individual-sized portions-so I can eat the whole thing without guilt in the morning! Also, they come in a gluten-free version for those of us who need it. How awesome is that? Just add your favorite toppings :-) Plus, there's such a fun element to making your own just the way you like it-and knowing exactly what the ingredients are.
Let's be honest. The cold is setting in here in the big city, and soon, we'll all be hibernating for the winter. Why wait for a delivery guy when in 7 minutes you can have your own wood fired oven (the only wood fired oven production the US, in fact!) already waiting for you at home. Go with their American Flatbreads-the cheese and herb is super yummy as I found out at our recent Single Edition Night Out. Trust me, I worked the room-aka had a ton of flatbread pizza! It hit my craving to a tee without leaving me bloated with sodium, an unfortunately side effect of other brands.
Here's the best news-single or not, you can enjoy these yummy creations for a quick dinner, afternoon snack or even stock them for go-to hors d'oeuvres for your other favorite ladies. Easy peezy!
I'm On the Market & In the Moment! And now I'm craving...
September 22, 2011
But back to this morning-wanted to share some deals from Daily Candy for city dwellers that I'll be checking out. First, there's tonight's NYC Fall Shopping event in Soho.
"From 5 to 9 p.m., more than twenty clothing and accessories stores in Soho will offer at least 20 percent off everything in stock. (Yes, you read that correctly.)
The A-plus roster includes Theory, Scoop NYC, AllSaints, La Perla, Paige, Betsey Johnson, and others. All you have to do to score the offer is R.S.V.P. and check off the stores you want to shop. Registration is free online at oo.com/vip." I'm FINALLY going to use my Nanette Lepore gift certificate!
Also, don't miss the Daily Candy Beauty Bus, which is parked on Broadway as of noon today and will move to a new location in midtown tomorrow followed by a final stop in Union Square on Saturday. I plan to swing by for a mid-day refresher from the pros at Hair Room Service featuring products from Pantene, COVERGIRL, and Olay.
See you in line!
I'm On the Market & In the Moment!
September 19, 2011
We are fighting the rain here this week in New York City, and coupled with the cool air, it's the perfect breeding ground for the blues. Personally, I'm loving another excuse to hunker down in my down comforter for some much-needed downtime, but I know I am probably the odd duck in thinking that. So for those of you experiencing some Mean Reds this week, I wanted to share a bit because let's face it-life and all its crazy decisions gets a little overwhelming sometimes. When I can't pull myself out of a funk, I look to the wisdom of others for the figurative kick in the butt I need to keep moving forward. Here are some of my favorite "words to grow on" which I hope helps your Tuesday, whatever you're going through!
I'm On the Market & In the Moment!
“When I wake up in the morning, I feel like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say,'Bitch, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.”
Don't listen to those who say, 'You're taking too big a chance.' Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don't listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says. 'They're all smarter than you out there. They're more talented, they're taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections. I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you'll be a person worthy of your own respects."
- Neil Simon, is an American playwright and screenwriter.
"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."
-Charles "Tremendous" Jones is a publisher, motivator and humorist! c/o Daily Love
"Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It's a gift to the world and every being in it. Don't cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you've got."
-Steven Pressfield, is a best-selling author. This quote is taken from his short and perfect book "The War of Art". c/o Daily Love
"What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us."
-Julia Cameron, is an American teacher, author, artist, poet, playwright, novelist, filmmaker, composer, and journalist. She is perhaps most famous for her book The Artist's Way. c/o Daily Love
"I'm still mad at Jerry Maguire. Be whole, be happy, be complete -- that's when great love is possible."
-Andrea Syrtash, life coach, relationship expert, & author of He's Just Not Your Type (and that's a good thing)
"Our guts and our hearts are like hard drives, our minds the software. We need to let our centers do the heavy lifting and lead the way. But like any other muscle, you need to exercise love, intuition and trust in yourself on a regular basis. Then, little by little you grow stronger and more confident in order to let that part of you run the show, instead of your brain."
-Kristina Leonardi, life coach
"All the things that truly matter - beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace - arise from beyond the mind."
September 12, 2011
Meanwhile, I'm in back-to-school mode as I do a little re-evaluating and re-organizing. For some reason, this time of year prompts me to get creative and set new goals for the months ahead, sometimes even more than New Year's. On my list? To add a little spice to the blog with pictures, more products and places for New Yorkers and visitors alike to enjoy as well as set aside the time to write more often. Plus, it gives me more motivation to explore new spots for dining, shopping and having fun in my fair city! Dating New York is the ultimate relationship.
I'm also hoping to cook more which I'm sure it's scary to many people who know me. I've yet to set off the fire alarm in the new apartment so now's as good a time as any! And I've found some easy recipes to start with before I venture into the pages of my new copy of Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking (freshly stamped from the Shakespeare & Company bookstore in Paris! Add it to your must-go list!). And of course, audition, audition, audition though I'm now receiving more opportunities to choreograph here and there as well which is super exciting. Next up is a short piece for the comedic play NEVER LET GO which will be presented as part of the Manhattan Repertory Theatre's Fall 1 Act Competition. Tickets here!
And the goal of reserving Thursdays and Saturdays for happy hours, football and friends? Well, it's a lofty one, but I'm learning the power of Starbucks Iced Coffee (which can keep me going, and going, and going-you get the idea). If $2.35 is what it takes for me to stay in the moment and get it all done, then sign me up. I don't want to miss a thing this season. It's my favorite, after all.
I'm On the Market & In the Moment!
September 2, 2011
And now I'm back to the city, working hard for the money I didn't worry about spending abroad (the only downside of the expat life is the horrible exchange rate!). I'm catching up at work and also working at the Ralph Lauren store at the US Open for the next week and a half. And puppy sitting for my best friends as I simultaneously retreat in their high rise apartment on the Upper East Side. It's a really busy but also, quiet time. The city is dead for the holiday weekend which is both eery and pleasant (and also thankfully, makes puppy walking a breeze down Park Avenue). So I'm in recovery mode here after powering through the summer with rehearsals, shows, and traveling. And with visitors in town almost every weekend for the next two months, downtime must be relished in the present. Meanwhile, my trip made me realize how hard I've been working this summer and how fast it all has gone by. I've made progress professionally speaking and have been saving money like crazy as a result of being so focused, but my social life has suffered a bit. So I've decided to continue prioritize auditioning for the fall but perhaps take a break from evening shows. It's time I start balancing work and life with a little less structure-we are on the market after all! Fall is one of my favorite times of year, and it's the perfect time to be out and about in the city before the winter weather hits. Everyone will be back in place next week (Fashion Week, too!) and it's time to bring back happy hours, afternoons at the museum, brunches and bottles of wine stateside-continue living the expat life right at home.
I'm On the Market & In the Moment!
July 30, 2011
July 6, 2011
So I've taken the plunge and just signed up for Match.com to take a gander and practice dating again.
And now I'm sufficiently freaked out! What happened to the days when you could just meet someone through your grandmother's neighbor's friend?!?!
But I'm doing this for your entertainment, blog-gotta have something to write about!
And so it begins....
But before that, I just wanted send a huge thanks to my incredible support network that has pulled me through the last year and all of its many ups and downs. Through the cards and words of encouragement, the opportunity to write and express myself, I am incredibly blessed to have such a rock solid foundation of family and friends. Off the Market love to you all!
Or rather, On the Market love. It's a new year after all!
June 29, 2011
Here's what I do know: despite my "off the market" status, it was more difficult than I thought to keep my heart in check. Yes, I stayed out of a relationship, but yes, I fell for someone. HARD. (so at times, yes, I felt like I was cheating on the blog...) And got hurt when I played the casual card which ultimately wasn't do-able for me. Then, I got cynical that relationships and marriage were just too tricky a beast to be tamed. And then fell hard again in hopes that casual was, in fact, just another version of being "in the moment." I still think there is something to that theory, but at the end of the day, we all deserve someone who is willing to take a leap of faith with us. And then the cookie REALLY crumbled this weekend while at a friend's wedding, I watched an old ex, now friend, dance happily with his girlfriend. Instead of what once would have been hurt, I weirdly found a sense of hope-that while it didn't work out for us, one day there'd be someone who was that excited to be with me. Life is ironic.
So am I older and wiser? Well, now I realize the value of timing as well as the importance of deeds following words. In many ways, I feel a little more foolish, but I'm certainly not sorry for following my heart, even if it ultimately ended with my not getting what I hoped would be. I did my best to be in the moment though at times, it was almost painful to fight the urge to think about the future. I definitely wished I had more even more time to write-thankfully, you get a few more months of me ON the market!
And when asked whether I'm looking forward to being back on the relationship scene? Well, I'm really not sure. It doesn't seem life will be much different though I won't be able to use the blog as an excuse for holding back. Because while I certainly feel more grounded than I did a year ago, better able to both prioritize my dreams and bounce back from disappointment, I found that doesn't make me infallible to hurt. In fact, what I definitely discovered is that while being single does have its drawbacks, it is a MUCH easier course to fly solo, worry about your own needs and wants and not put your heart on the line. Being open to relationships? Now that's scary stuff.
And totally worth it.
I definitely thought that starting this mission would result in a year of being crazy single and carefree or in the words of my Day 365 self, "the focus of the year is to get out of my head and away from my heart long enough to secure the foundation for that fun-loving, confident, doesn’t have a care in the world girl that I lose every time I get what I think I’m looking for"...
Fun-loving? Check. Confident? Working on it...Doesn't have a care in the world? Well, that was just unrealistic! I'm a caring person. I think I was going for feeling light, joyful-and there have been some blissful moments indeed like when I landed my first NYC show, got stuck in a snowstorm with someone I cared about, was supported by friends with cards of encouragement, and welcomed the New Year abroad, to name a few. But life is made of ups and downs, and sometimes is so loopy you don't know which way is up anymore. Thankfully, I can say with confidence that I'm growing stronger. And learning. I haven't lost myself as I have with past disappointments, despite my tendency to analyze a bit too often or try too hard when I should just let go. A year definitely doesn't cure all, but I'm learning to give myself, and others, a little more slack, and in the meantime, keep moving forward.
I'm Off the Market and In the Moment! At least for one more day.
June 7, 2011
But what inspires me? Well, that's a different story that goes beyond buying flowers for myself.
As a single woman, particularly an Off the Market one, I think making time to discover and surround yourself with your own personal inspiration is invaluable--and integral to creating your own legendary life story. I've actually been meaning to create an inspiration board for awhile, based on my mid-twenties meltdown from a few weeks ago. Still, it's hard enough to live in the moment, let alone find extra moments to think about what really inspires me and makes me want to live a legendary life.
And I'm sure I'm not alone.
I'm lucky in that I have passions aplenty--so much so that I've spent the year prioritizing these passions as more than occasional activities. But when am I truly inspired? Well, this blog has forced me to sit down and actually figure it out. At first I thought of the beach, those moments of clarity I get when sitting by the water with the sun shining down. But that's not really the same as inspiration as being there is rather, my escape. Of course, writing and reading near the top of my list but again, I thought, those are my escapes....
But when I'm performing? Acting, dancing, singing, whether it's for myself or a crowd, simply lets me forget everything else in my life and be absolutely in the moment. It's my way to connect with my authentic self. My stress release yet at the same time, my high. My best outlet to be creative and push myself to the limits.
So there ya have it. I found my inspiration-do you have yours?
Thankfully, AOL is sponsoring a contest as part of their "Life is Legendary" campaign, an opportunity which makes the creation of my own inspiration board amazingly easy. The “Inspiration Board” is a custom destination that allows anyone to easily record all the things that represent her and what she aspires to become – it’s a forum to express one’s individuality that is sharable with friends on Facebook.
I strongly believe in the power of sending your dreams into the universe--with AOL's “Inspiration Board” is doesn't get any easier than visiting: http://www.
AND, you'll be automatically entered to win a random sweepstake which includes a weekly $50 gift card drawing as well as a chance to win the Grand Prize, a $4500 gift card.
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!
May 26, 2011
Enter Soup Singles. This great brand offers delicious go-to meals in prepackaged packets designed specifically for single servings. And with all the gloomy rain days we've had in NYC lately, this is just the dose of feel good I love to keep on hand.
Plus, one of the biggest deterents to cooking for me is the time factor. I'm constantly on the run, and Soup Singles makes it easy to have a bowl of comfort at a moment's notice as I run out the door or crash on the couch after a fabulously long day. Plus, the extra time I find from NOT cooking can be spent enjoying a well-deserved glass of white!
Since I'm a foodie, I love challenging the taste buds with new eats and flavors and Soup Singles has 8 tasty ones to enjoy. Balsamic Tomato Rice & Vegetable anyone? AND, the soups are made with only the freshest ingredients but minus the sodium that saturates other brands. Normally, I can't eat soup regularly-I'm a bloater :-) But with Soup Singles, I can get the satisfying taste without the salt. The soups are also low cal so they are perfect for helping me get myself in prime swimsuit shape.
Even better? Soup Singles is also designed with the single gal's budget in mind. I can get 5 Soup Singles for just $5 at participating ShopRite stores, leaving me with more funds to spend on new dresses or spontaneous happy hours this summer. Goodbye expensive frozen meals!
Soup Singles has bought me the time I needed to master my skills. And should I have another person across the table, I can create a meal for two without the embarassing interuption of our apartment's fire alarm going off... or maybe I'll save this bowl of comfort for just myself. Thanks to Soup Singles, a little self love is never far away.
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment-and now quite hungry!
Check out their Facebook page for daily deals and more information.
May 20, 2011
Needless to say, I've been stressed and not at all in the moment. So much for the last month of the blog mission! Fortunately, a wise friend caught the signs and sat me down for a chat, all the while instructing me to think about what I'd want out of life if there were no limits (rent, fear, hours of the day...RENT). So that's what I did. I took the time to figure out my hopes for this very short life and wrote them down, in no particular order.
-to act, dance, and sing to my little heart's content
-to learn French
-to own my apartment (remember the sky's the limit, even in Manhattan!)
-to have a family/children
-to have a beach retreat of my own
-to learn how to cook (I can dream, can't I?)
Some things are obviously more superficial than others, but these are my top wants which I have now sent out into the universe. I guess you can think of this as a vision board of sorts-though I assume it will grow and change as I continue to do so. And of course, I expect additions.
Just looking back to Day 357-Making a List where I numerated goals for my year of OTMITM. Fortunately, I've crossed off being in a show since though I've yet to make it to my ballroom class or again, fix anything other than a PBJ and popcorn for dinner.
While I don't know what my next steps are any more so than I did on Monday, I'm a little more at ease getting this all in writing. And realizing that while these are all life-changing decisions, they are positive ones and not at all crisis-worthy as I make them in my head. Hopefully, now I can just release my hopes enough to get back to what's in front of me. And be patient for the answers to come.
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment
May 10, 2011
April 26, 2011
Ok guys-before you go Groundhog Day on me and threaten to crawl back into your hole until my prowling calms down, remember this is all about casual dating fun!
Thankfully, I found a site that has great tips for helping to put the spring back into my step: HowAboutWe.com. Get this-they match singles up by what types of dates you want to go on!
Even better, they are sharing some great spring fling tips for how to get yourself out the house and into the arms of another single cutie pronto! To make life even easier, the site is even offering a special 33% discount on membership with their services (promo code: SpringFun).
1-Ladies, ASK GUYS OUT: Men and women are asking one another out at equal rates and in fact, ladies are at a slight advantage. Dates proposed by women get an average of 5.8 responses each, while men get 5.5. Who knew! I think this theory will be tested by me on the guy down the hall at work...stay tuned. They are away this week!
2-Be SPECIFIC: Dates that involved doing something, such as eating at a specific restaurant or doing a specific activity, are 40% more successful than an ambiguous date idea. As a single girl who has spent one too many "dates" staying in, please do yourself a favor and take this advice. Don't leave it up to your significant (or insignificant) other!
3-PLAN ahead: Wednesday is the best day to ask someone out on a date. The worst day to propose a date? SUNDAY. Good news because I don't know how I'll ask a guy out while simultaneously sitting on my couch in pj's...
4-Keep it SHORT: A date idea that gets communicated in the 120-140 characters is ideal, so keep it to the length of a Tweet. But let's clarify-don't rely on social media to get your point across. Phone or in-person always trumps other forms of communication. Just thought I'd slip that in as part of my anti-text campaign...
5-2-Part Dates have the MOST success: 60% of the most responded to dates are two-fold: a short, active part followed by a more intimate second location. Example: "How about we practice our slices at the driving range then get some slices at my favorite brick-over pizza joint- it's just a few blocks away." This reminds me-I've never been to Chelsea Piers to the driving range...or to the Bronx zoo...or the Central Park carousel, all of which would be PERFECT dates followed by my favorite food pizza.
So step away from the computer already and enjoy the weather. I know this OTMITM girl is going to do so!
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!
April 15, 2011
April 9, 2011
March 31, 2011
March 24, 2011
March 17, 2011
March 7, 2011
February 28, 2011
So that is the reason for my long absence lately....I'm mentally tapped out! Frankly, I just don't know how I'm going to keep it all up: work, rehearsals, writing, dance classes, family and friends. Obviously, the blog has gotten stuck on the bottom of the list and for that, I'm SORRY! Strategy for next week is to draft posts on my HOUR LONG ride to rehearsal on the train. The rest of my body aches so I might as well have achy thumbs from the bberry, too!
But really-four months to go on OTMITM, and I'm seriously losing steam here...surprisingly not with the no relationships, personal growth stuff, but the writing. Who would have thought!
Meanwhile-this casual dating thing has certainly been a test. It's so hard to be in the moment and not get swept away into bad habits like overanalyzing and losing perspective. Thank goodness I have this blog in the background of my mind to hold me a little more accountable. And a special thanks to my friends who constantly remind me-wait, isn't that why you have the blog?!?!? Because I'm the first to admit that dating just makes me feel like a crazy person sometimes. And dating without strings attached, while fun and in the moment, has totally come with its freakouts.
What a journey it all is...
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment
February 18, 2011
No excuses other than sometimes life gets in the way. And time flies when you're having fun! I am starting to realize how fast this whole experience is passing me by though. Only four more months until I'm back on the market and frankly, I'm a little scared of having to really put myself out there again. Sure, I'm casually dating as I've mentioned but I haven't thrown myself in per the norm and yet, I'm still getting pre-relationship jitters. Because I know that falling in love takes just that: falling, letting go, having faith. And I'm just not ready for that part where I inevitably also fall on my face. So I'm so glad I can keep the security blanket of my blog to protect my little heart for a few more months. Because even though I'm being more relaxed these days, I still can't seem to wear that sucker anywhere but on my sleeve.
In the interim, I've been discovering a little more of my spiritual faith and self-love these days. It's finally starting to hit me that for all these years, I've been trying to put such unrealistic expectations on the men in my life. Now before you balk that I'm settling for less by changing standards, that is not what I mean. I still believe in my lovely list (Day 291) as a guideline for what I need out of a partnership. But I've realized that in being in relationships, I've also looked for a lot of my own personal fulfillment in other people when perfect love simply doesn't exist in human form. Because humans are....HUMANS. Crazy, unpredictable, selfish, loving, generous, all at the same time, always changing. And I've had my moments, so I know. While I can't be responsible for someone's self worth, why should I expect them to be responsible for filling my needs? Loneliness sometimes feeds such insecurities, but I know I've got to learn to love the ups and downs, too. As Jennifer Aniston so said, "A relationship isn't going to make me survive. It's the cherry on top."
So I'm working on all the stuff to make my life as delicious as possible.
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment
February 14, 2011
My little heart was broken that he'd just LET her have my precious gift and so I continued to boil throughout the day (my passionate Scorpio self developed early) until I finally reached my breaking point and wrote my feelings of hatred to Will in a note which I left for him to find after recess. I, on the other hand, proceeded to find myself in trouble with the teacher when Will promptly ratted me out, and we were forced to hug it out under her approving eye.
I fondly remember it as one of my fondest Valentine's Days yet, now I'm smart enough to know that good chocolate always trumps a plastic fake.
My other favorite moment was when I lived in the dorm sophomore year and as I was living it up single style, I didn't have a big date to get ready for like the other gals on the hall. So my friend M and I treated ourselves to Happy Meals and cozied up in front of a movie while everyone else scurried by in anticipation. I've been lucky enough to have my fair share of legit Valentine's dates, but that was the most satisfying yet. As I sit here, I'm ashamed that I can't remember how other VDays were celebrated, but I'm thinking that's because I probably received flowers (which I am eternally grateful for as they are my favorite) but didn't actually go or do anything extraordinary to celebrate. And I'll be the first to admit that there's no need to celebrate the day (I was totally enundated by the marketing ploys this year) but instead, spread the love year round, but I have a feeling that wasn't the reason I didn't get festive. For so long, I've been that first grader, desperate for attention and eager to please, and probably was feining contentment without requiring any effort on the part of my not-so-eager suitor.
That's all in the past, yet here we are on my 26th Valentine's Day, and I'm feeling surprisingly upbeat. I'm not going to pretend that being single is awesome because today more than most, it can be a little rough watching the flowers go by in Grand Central knowing they aren't for you. But instead of complaining about what I don't have, I'm trying to be grateful for what I do: dark Hershey kisses by the bagful, a care package from my parents, a funny card and new pair of sexy undies (to replace granny panties) from my bf back home, and the realization that I'm slowly growing up, saying goodbye to that little first grader who wanted nothing but a guy's affection and a little ring to prove it.
I'm Off the Market, In the Moment and wishing you an equally satisfying Valentine's Day!
February 1, 2011
By their readers' demands, the authors of The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags rifled through thousands of submissions from men and women across the U.S. (and even around the world) for the can't-believe-it-really-happened, most outrageous, most revealing red flag stories ever received in order to create this book. In addition to tales of relationship woe, this hip relationships guide will include witty advice, entertaining lists and even some embarassing personal stories from the authors.
In the meantime, you can get your quota of humor from these gals at their blog: The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags: A Place for all those warning signs you totally spotted but chose to ignore...
Check it out and get the wheels turning about those red flags you're getting in your own life! Mine include: never had a relationship longer than three months, doesn't believe in marriage, doesn't believe in toilet paper and wants to know how you feel about living in a hut in Africa.
And just so I play it evenly between the genders, here are ethe men's big red flags about US-and all this time, I thought our only flaw was being oh-so perfect :-)
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!
January 22, 2011
With one friend already plotting a lingerie trip with me in tow, I just received the below from another bestie from home who wanted to make sure I'm on top of this oh so delicate situation-the only message she chose to add was "take some notes!"
I subscribe to Daily Candy (and if you don't, it's a must!) but oh-so-ironically didn't receive the email which my friends think I'd most benefit from the most:
Most unmentionables are referred to as such for a reason: They’re boring. But you can be sure The Loved One, Elvia Lahman and Hannah Metz’s debut lingerie collection will get people talking. Inspired by troves of frilly underthings uncovered during their travels as vintage wholesalers, along with old Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs and early 1960’s girlie magazines, a small selection launches today.
January 18, 2011
"I dare you to go single for a year, and by the 6th month you'll be loving life and feel in control/more self confident... which is one thing that actually attracts the opposite sex. There are so many opportunities as younger girls in the city who aren't attached... not that you have to hookup with the person, butt having a bf would def hold you back from being offered the opportunity.
What's scary about being 26 and just starting to think about a serious bf?!!! I say you should just do it starting June 30th for our 1 year lease extension.... the scariest things in life are those that teach you the most about yourself ;)"
One more week, and I'll be at that halfway mark. I have to say that I was terrified at the beginning-what if I meet Mr. Right or Prince Charming? Will I miss out if I make myself unavailable to relationships?
I have to say that E was onto something. Yes, it was scary, but this experience has been invaluably rewarding if for no other reason than it gave me the time to think about what I want out of life and in a potential partner. Remember that must-have/can't stand list? I feel more self-confident and am loving life not only because I'm prioritizing myself, but because I'm standing on my own two feet. Sure there are rough days where I miss having a steady companion, but I've had a blast opening myself up to all the men out there without analyzing them as marriage material. And frankly, that has left me a lot more free time to focus on my goals.
But what about the other half of the equation-in the momentness? Well, that has been my real trial. I'm a planner, an analyzer, and I've discovered that not only is this hard to combat in love but it's just as difficult in every day life. I have succeeded in being more flexible, but I still have days where I beat myself up for what I can't control or even worst, what's in the past. And going with the flow? Well, I'm working on it...
Yet, what I've really learned through this whole process is that life IS a process. We have no idea what or who will come our way and change our path so it's important to just GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. Let things unfold and have faith. Again, easier said than done, but for the past two weeks, this message has been told to me dozens of time by multiple people so it's finally ringing true. And I need to reitorate it again after bombing my cold reading the other day and not getting a callback from an earlier audition. PROCESS.
So that's where I am at the moment. Re-examining, re-prioritizing and re-focusing for the second half of my year. I hope for many more posts with OTMITM adventures to share. And-I forgot to mention. I'm casually seeing someone. And I mean, casually. As in, no expectations, in the moment, enjoying each other's company, fun. With kissing :-) I think I'll balance it with a little Match.com action to keep things light but it's interesting being on the "whatever happens, happens" track for a change....it's certainly in the moment and six months into my mission, I'm finding I'm good with that.
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!
January 13, 2011
I subscribe to this site and loved yeseterday's post. Just the kick in the butt I needed! Hopefully, it will be what some of you are looking for as well:
What's YOUR Vision?
Posted by I'm a Singlelista! at 5:59 PM
Singlelistas, I have to ask! Are you following your resolutions?
Are you going to the gym everyday?Have you scheduled your trip to the Mediterranean?Have you paid off that credit card debt that you’ve had since college? I don’t know about you but I’m still paying on acrylic nails that I bought way back in 2001…Oh, the shame!I digress. The reason that I’m checking on YOUR resolutions is because I really want this year to be all about YOU!
We declared that 2011 would be the Year of the Single Woman, but we never really talked about what that meant. You’ve been heavy on my heart lately because I’ve been thinking about all of the phenomenal things that we, as single women, could be doing with this time of freedom and independence in our lives, yet I wonder how many of us actually use this time to really fulfill that. I thought about this because not too long ago I had a Vision Party with a gaggle of my girlfriends, which if you haven’t been to or hosted one this year, I highly recommend that you do! Anyway, as we were sipping sangrias, eating Asian-inspired tapas, and creating 2011 vision boards, complete with enough glitter to prompt the sequel to Mariah Carey’s cinematic catastrophe, I was really taken aback by the number of women who kept putting wedding-themed icons on their boards.
There were wedding rings, wedding dresses, wedding venues (castles of course!), and wedding favors literally spilling off of their pages, yet not a single one of them had a boyfriend, a strong suitor, or even a blind date on the horizon.
Now, I didn’t say anything then (and I imagine my phone will begin rigorously ringing as soon as this posts!) but I really thought for a moment that I had entered the bridal twilight zone.Like, maybe it’s just me but how do you plan to be married this year, and you haven’t yet found a suitable mate?*blank stare*Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as much of a hopeless romantic as the next chick. I carry my glass slippers around in my purse and I allot extra vacay time in my Blackberry just in case Prince Charming comes riding along unannounced and whisks me away to his paradise in the sky.
But in looking at the boards as they were being designed and blinged, I couldn’t help but think what a waste of space it was to plan for something over which you have such very little control. Call me old school, but I honestly believe that men decide when they are going to propose, and we decide whether we are going to accept. Now I know there are some lovely ladies out there who proposed to their husbands and rode off happily into the sunset, but for the most part, that’s not really how it works- and it's certainly not the way most of us envisioned it as young girls- because yes, we’ve all been planning these weddings since we were four! I may have actually began planning immediately after my birth, but that’s a totally different story!My point is, that fairly or not, for most women it’s pretty much a waiting game. We have to wait for a man who doesn’t repulse us to come along. We have to wait until he decides that he can’t live without us another day (even though we’ve known that all along!)We have to wait until he’s ready to purchase our 10-karat ring (yes, I said 10!).We wait until he's willing to withstand the ridicule of “the fellas,” and we wait until he buys the proper knee guard equipment that will enable him to comfortably drop down in front of all of humanity, and whimsically declare his undying love.Whew!And as most of us have noticed, ummm…we just might be waiting a while, especially for those of us who are waiting on the right guy to come along.
Which brings me back to my vision boards. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I’ve decided that the difference between being a "single woman" and a "singlelista" is all in how you wait. Instead of filling our resolutions with goals that we may or may not be able to achieve, based on factors…ahem, men…beyond our control, what if we filled our visions with the other things in life that make us happy?As modern women, we want it ALL-- The man, yes. But also the houses, the cars, the clothes, the careers, the vacations in Venice, the summers on the Vineyard, the pup, the nonprofit, the Grammy, the Tony, the Oscar, the Golden Globe-it ALL!
Recognizing that, we should resolve to fill up our vision boards with things that remind us to be our best selves- to be stunning, kind, fashionable, charitable, brilliant, healthy, whole, spiritual, and happy!I believe that if we redirect the energy we spend wallowing in love unfound, and invest it in ourselves, on an uncompromising journey to become better everyday, we can truly find the happiness which we all seek.Singlelistas, I want 2011 to be all about YOU. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do.
Redesign your wardrobe. Buy your house. Charter a plane. Travel the world. Parachute out of the sky. Open your business. Start a nonprofit. Run for political office. Buy yourself a diamond (OK, maybe not a 10-karat one, but you see where I'm going with this)! LIVE FOR YOU!And by the time you finish loving and investing in your phenomenal self, as luck would have it, I’d venture to bet that the love you’ve been searching for will be much closer than you imagined.Stars attract stars. So go ahead singlelistas, SHINE!
This year is all about YOU! Write YOUR vision. And make it plain.
Love life…every SINGLE moment of it! -xoxo