August 7, 2010

Day 329-Lucky in Love

Touch down. I'm back in the Big Apple tonight with only a bite-sized amount of energy left in me from traveling. However, I had to get something off my chest before I lay me down to sleep (yes, I still use my childhood prayer to end the night).

When starting this endeavor, one of my goals was to become more self-aware, in tune with who I am and what I want out of this very short life rather than be a martyr to failed relationships. Today, I'm realizing that while I am indeed progressing toward this at a tortoise pace (two baby steps forward, three baby steps back), blogging can have a dangerous side effect. It's very difficult to walk the fine line of being in the moment and self-aware without missing my mark and falling into plain ol' selfish living.

I mean think about it. Every day I'm reflecting and writing on ME, ME, ME. Now I have made the point before that unless you can learn to take care of yourself and your needs, you can't take care of the world and the larger scheme of life. I stand by my statement, and thus, this yearlong self-examination and exploration is in order. However, being in my head so much also makes me miss the goodness around me (see any patterns?).

I'm incredibly lucky in love. Don't get excited-I'm not breaking the blog bond with a new relationship, though if Prince Harry does come calling, a warning that I'm outta here. But right now, I'm not referring to lucky in romantic love. Rather, I just spent a wonderful ten days at home with my ever-growing family and wonderful friends, catching up and enjoying precious time together eat, eat, eating, snuggling my pets, walking around one of the greatest cities of the world, and talking & laughing. I probably should have spent the whole week in thanks instead of trying to squeeze it in the last hour of Sunday night. But I definitely chose to pout instead. And I am a supreme pouter when I have to get on a plane back to reality before I'm ready. If you ever encounter me in an airport with a sour face, you probably should just keep walking. Otherwise, be prepared to be subjected to a possible explosion of tears-seriously, flying has conditioned me to tear up regardless of my mood!

Anyway, I was brought back to the moment in a gentle yet thought-provoking way (in my head again!) when I found a loving reminder from E sitting on my bed: a basket of pick me-up cards to get through the remaining 11 months still on tap for the year. It gave me the jolt I needed to realize that love comes in all forms: parents, brothers, friends, roommates, the little dachsund or black & white cat who'll curl up beside you whether or not you've finally hit a record high on the scale.

It may not be coming from Cupid's arrow, but love is all around. So in this moment, I'm saying thanks. Thanks for being supportive, for listening, for encouraging, for bringing me back to Earth when I need to be leveled with, and for just being there. Thank you for your love.

Tonight I realize that it's indeed important to reflect on what you want and continue to strive towards a goal, whatever you're hoping to achieve. But it's even more valuable to reflect on what's right in front of you. You may find that everything you need in the moment, you already have.

I'm off the market & in the moment!

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