Despite a much-needed and restful weekend, partly spent in the Hudson Valley hiking and wine-tasting with girlfriends, I have been feeling a bit disgruntled with Cupid lately. It just seems that it's much too difficult for human beings to fall in love these days. I meet a lot of peope. I connect with a few. I date fewer. But not only are we constantly in conflict with each other for various and sundry reasons, but we're also often struggling against ourselves.
Now I know that it's the diversity in life that makes it so darn interesting, but seriously, all that Spark talk last week started stressing me out a bit. If the spark doesn't come by but so often, am I going to be sitting around waiting for this person to take his sweet time in showing up?
HOLD UP. Red flagging myself here-"sitting around" and "waiting for this person" is clearly not "In the Moment" behavior. Rather than self-edit with my delete key, I decided to leave this scary thought in so you might believe how easily old conditioning returns...
Ok, back to case in point. These days, it seems as if love is harder to find than ever, especially when you're looking for someone who not only returns your sentiments equally but also, has the ever-elusive quality of being "ready" for a relationship.
I vented these feelings to my friend K today via email then went about my business because like I mentioned, 'tis the busiest time of the year.
When I finally graced my doorway at 8pm after concluding all writing I've been doing instead of blogging, I checked in with my new bestfriend Bberry and saw I got an audition call for Thursday. Immediately, my mind was back on the career track, far away from the detour of Cupid bashing I'd taken earlier in the day.
I may be searching for sign, but we're all searching for something, and this was my signal to stop complaining and stay the course: to focus on the moment, rather than worry about the future. Not to mention, why waste time focusing on Cupid when I'm Off the Market anyway?
Then I got further reinforcement from K in response to my venting:"It is the one thing in your life that you have no control over. You are like me and are very driven and like to choose your own future. This is why it is so frustrating when you have to wait for someone else to get their act together."It's a little bit funny how well my friends and the universe know me, and both parties are thankfully, keeping me in check.
I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!