January 6, 2011

Day 177-A DATE! And some NYC dating realities

I have a date! A DATE! Get excited but not too much because there's not much to tell yet....except to tell you that he's a fun, great guy.

Aren't they all? :-)

But remember, and when I say this I'm really reminding myself, this whole year is about having a good time in the moment and just casually dating (which means I've been struggling against my relationship-focused self and its inclinations all week). Dinner should be a nice little test to see how OTMITM is working. But I'm still allowed to be excited, right?!?!

Who cares-I totally am.

But how funny that I woke up anticipating the fun evening ahead only to find this Daily News article on dating in NYC in my google alert:

'Millionaire Matchmaker' Patti Stanger blames 'selfish' guys for New York's 'terrible' dating scene

You want to know why dating is so messed up in New York?

It's the guys.

That's what Patti Stanger says she has learned since moving her Bravo hit, "The Millionaire Matchmaker," to the city this season.

"Coming to New York is coming home to me," says Stanger, who grew up in New Jersey and Manhattan. "So I'm disappointed to see the terrible state of the dating scene.

"With the season finale airing Tuesday, she says there is a 5-to-1 ratio of single women to single men in the city and knows why."I blame the guys!" says Stanger, a third-generation matchmaker who opened her own service in 2000.

"Men in New York are more selfish these days. They want to hold on to their money, and they’re in no rush to find a mate." But she wants her clients — those who pay to be in the Millionaire’s Club, on which the show is based — and New York women in general to remain hopeful."

All you need to find is one guy," she says with a wink. So what’s a girl to do? Stanger offers these tips on how to find that special someone in New York.

1. DON'T JUDGE "On my show, I heard women turning up their nose about guys who didn't live in the right neighborhood," she says, referring to a woman who wouldn’t date a man who lived in a different borough. "It was disgusting! Stop judging, at least until you go on the first date."

2. BREAK BREAD"One of the best parts of the dating scene in New York is that men understand that dinner is an absolute must!" says Stanger. "Lunch is an audition, drinks are an interview. Women love to be fed, and dinner is a necessity. Make sure that a guy you're seeing understands that."

3. SAY IT, DON'T TYPE IT"Stop responding to guys who only use text messages!" she says. "Are you kidding me? You can't fall in love with a guy unless you hear their voice. If you can lock on to a man's voice, you can connect to it. You certainly don't get that from a text! Besides, you're not looking for a pen pal."

4. GET ACTIVE"First, figure out what types of guys you like, and what they enjoy doing," Stanger says. "Together with your girlfriends, rotate buying tickets to Yankees, Knicks or Rangers games, or better yet, go watch a game at a bar! Find out what's free and fun going on in New York. Go ice-skating in Bryant Park. Remember, you're not going to find a man by sitting around. That will never work!"

5. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED ..."Don't give up too easily!" says Stanger. "Try a venue or event more than once, and if it doesn't work, then move on to the next thing. But always give it a chance. And remember, stay positive. A woman's smile is her calling card."

Our picks for great first-date spots:Tanoreen, Bay Ridge: 7523 Third Ave., at 76th St.Prime Meats, Carroll Gardens: 465 Court St.Bar Paya, Manhattan: 65 Second Ave., at Fourth St.Corcho Wine Bar, Washington Heights: 231 Dyckman St.

Thinking athletic? Try these locations:Bryant Park skating rink, free.Rangers tickets (via Stubhub.com), $19 and up.Yankees bar: Blackbird’s, Astoria: 41-19 30th Ave. Knicks bar: Jack Dempsey?a>??s, Manhattan: 36 W. 33rd St.

Way to kill my buzz, Patti. Regardless, she's got some good pointers for dealing with the hard facts (seriously, 5:1 ratio?). And I AM frustrated with texting, but I'm not sure I'm seeing her solution...are we supposed to just ignore?!?

Obviously I'm still on a quest for some answers, but regardless, I'm taking it all in stride tonight and focusing on fun for a change. That's what OTMITM is about after all.

It's time to walk the talk.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!


  1. Liza! What an incredible blog and writer you are! I enjoy so much reading your fun and quirky posts. I hope you are doing well and living it up in NYC!-Jane Marie

  2. Thanks, Jane-Marie!!! I hope you are doing well!