Day 185-Off the Market, In the Moment LONDON

I spent the holidays down South with the family so when I saw the blizzard was going to hit both us and New York City, I knew my long-anticipated London plans were in trouble. Made it through the ice to the airport for my flight, had a plane, was told Laguardia would open by 4pm only to be canceled 10 minutes later. I know I wasn't the only one stranded and singing this tune, not by a LONG shot, but there seemed to be no way to get to NYC and London. I'm pretty sure I yelled a good Southern damnit coupled with a foot stomp to left off a bit of steam.

With hope totally lost while standing in the rebooking line, I received a text from my new friend, ironically the guy from Meet me Halfway, who wanted to rent a car and drive. Talk about being in the moment AND meeting halfway! An hour or so later, we had embarked on our journey up 1-95 which funnily enough, could also be thought of as also a 10 hour date. Life has such a sense of humor...

Long car ride, short story-great time, great guy, and not sure of anything more than that. Which I think I'm ok with for a change. I think??? It's so hard to resist 26 years of learned behavior with the opposite sex!

But more importantly, LONDON! I'm sitting in my friends' lovely flat as we speak, contemplating which type of tea I'll begin my morning with. Morning being noon as it's so foggy in London you're totally fooled into what time it actually is which has resulted in me sleeping the latest I have in my entire life. I could get used to this!

But seriously, London has been amazing, and everything I hoped for. I'm very tempted to move my OFTITM self here. Even though I love, love, love New York, there's something about Europe that has such a special feel. Plus, the shopping, great food, and history surrounding your every step.

Buckingham Palace and the Changing of the Guards, Westminister and Big Ben, eating curry at Char Bizarre (highly recommend this, btw), and tea in Queen Anne's gardens. This trip has been amazing and worth every bit of craziness it took to get here!

Simply put, I've never felt more in the moment in my life. And now, I must finish my Earl Grey before embarking on another brilliant day.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 194-C is for Choice: Why Diamonds Wait for No Man (Sponsored Post)

When I turned 18, my mom gave me my grandmother's diamond ring. "Now you never have to wait for any man," she told me. I remember feeling a newfound sense of independence as my finger sparkled before me. No longer would I have to wait on another human being's validation of me to get a little bling. I already had the power.

Even though I still wear my ring every day, I haven't thought about that moment in a few years. Somewhere along the way, I lost that sense of security which my little token once gave me. I'm sure broken hearts have a tiny thing to do with it, and I also will give some credit to the neverending Facebook posts of friends getting engaged which let's face it, beats up us singles from time to time. And those damn "He went to Jared" commercials!

Nevertheless, the diamonds constantly call us. And make us feel powerful. And celebrated. They make us remember our worth. Yet, so few of us indulge in these secret wants and rather, wait for the guy(s) in our life to get a clue. But I'm taking my independence back this year! No longer will I gaze at those Tiffany windows wishing I could go on the fourth floor if ONLY I had a man beside me. Sure the engagement one celebrates a milestone, but there are too many beautiful diamonds in the world to just wait for the big day.

So with the holiday season around the corner, there's no better time to channel your inner Samantha. I challenge you to give yourself a little sparkle love. I'm personally digging this fashion ring from Diamond.Com.

Let's face it-the men in our single lady lives may come and go, but there's no denyin' our diamonds are rock solid. And therefore, our very best friends.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 200-200 Day Milestone Giveaway

200 days to go! 200 days to go! My how the time flies when you're having fun. Confidence is going up, the walls are going down, and I'm feeling more centered than ever.

ANYWAY.....in honor of today's milestone, I'm oh-so-ironically giving away two copies of the book IN STYLE:WEDDINGS (I crack myself up!) to the readers who share Off the Market & In the Moment's homepage link on their Internet or Social Media site (ie. Facebook, Twitter, etc).

To enter, share the OTMITM link on your page of choice and just copy and paste that URL in today's comment field. I'll randomly select two winners who will each receive a copy of this most-inspiring title to read under the covers late at night, gift away at their best friend's shower, or use as a strategically placed "hint" for that guy dragging his feet.

Deadline for Entry is Wednesday, December 15th at 3pm EST.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 204-Happy Friday from Downtown Dharma

Happy Friday! Congratulations to everyone for surviving what I'm sure was another busy week. Even though the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, let's face it. For many of us, it also proves to be one of the most stressful times.

So I was pleasantly surprised--which is really no surprise--that today's Downtown Dharma gave me just the medicine I was looking for, a cure for stress in the city. As a result, I decided to take some writing stress off myself by opting to share Dharma's insight for today's post. So without further adieu, check out Punky Meditation:

1 Comment Posted by admin in Downtown Dharma
Josh Korda has silver teeth, sports tattoos from head to toe and lives in Williamsburg. Oh, and he’s also the spiritual teacher of a Buddhist meditation group called Dharma Punx.
Intrigued by his edgy enlightenment, I interviewed Korda months ago for a book proposal. He is a freelance art director by day, which allows him to conduct his Dharma Punx talks and sittings pro bono. The ancient Buddha never believed in receiving payment for spiritual services, Korda insisted. (He also didn’t live in Manhattan or enjoy fine dining, I responded.)

The day we met, he explained why we’re all so stressed out in the city.
“We base our identity on things that are constantly changing: work, money, beauty and friends,” Korda said. “We try to control what we have no control over. Instead, base your identity on the internal, on what’s inside.”

What’s inside me usually includes a very Chatty Cathy that’s not always so supportive. Meditation has helped me quiet my thoughts, keep me cool and allow real wisdom to surface. You know, wise thoughts like, yes, must work out today and no, a size two just wouldn’t look good on you.

I checked out the Dharma Punx meditation and dharma talk this past Tuesday. Meditating home alone is a big challenge, especially with the MacBook, iPhone and iPad nearby. Korda said that even the Buddha recognized our difficulty and suggested we meditate in groups to share in the experience.

The room was filled with hipsters and artists, layered in sweaters and tees: your typical LES bunch. During the 40-minute meditation through traffic sounds on 1st Avenue, Korda interjected with calming statements and thoughts like, “If we were more peaceful, there would be less suffering in the world.” I was hitting my Zen state. The grungy gathering was doing me right.

Korda’s Dharma talk afterwards was about isolation and suffering, which I interpreted as such: The mind kicks us when we are down. Life is suffering — people die, we gain weight.
“Buddha says we all get struck with arrows,” Korda told the group. “But for every arrow, we shoot many, many more into us. The bulk of suffering is what we create. Those extra thoughts that include, ‘What’s wrong with me?,’ ‘Why me?’ and ‘How could this be?’”
Part of the group’s purpose is to share and swap life stories so people can see we all have similar arrows.

I tried to keep my Zen mind state going on the train home. Though I got funny looks as I sat with my eyes half open and index and thumb fingers touching, meditation style on top of my iPad.

Then again, those thoughts could just be more arrows in disguise. Ohm…

Like what you're reading? Sign up for your own Downtown Dharma emails here.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 207-Bloggin' for Betty

As those of you who personally know me can testify, I normally like things busy, busy. I do enjoy my downtime, but I also get high on life when there's lots of places to go and interesting people to see.

On top of the usual business, I now have more things to write! That's right-you'll be catching my byline on www.BettyConfidential.com here and there, and not just on the Blogger Fan page. So let me get a bit of bragging out of my system-this is my open ME forum, after all! As soon as I get enough breathing room to submit my paperwork, I'll be an official contributing blogger working with an official Betty editor-how fancy is that?!?! Now I just need to create another day of the week to devote to blogging, blogging, and more blogging because right now, my head is barely staying above water with everything that needs to be done.

Yet, I'm following the moment, however tired it makes me. My purpose when starting OTMITM was to re-focus my energy and be in the present (and who are we kidding, get over that guy). Yet, it just shows how little we know of the future. I certainly never thought that a broken heart could mature me, bring me back to writing and lead to all of these amazing opportunities.

So thanks to you guys for carrying me this far-knowing you are reading has been a comfort blanket for some rocky times, and I appreciate you letting me voice, well, everything! Now I just hope those of you out there reading who are feeling lost, broken-hearted or just having a tuna fish day will take heart. Things will get better. Better than you ever imagined.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 212-Another Blog To Know About

To build on my last post where I shared my newfound feelings for texting, here's an author AND blog to watch for more insight on the topic of life, love and the Internet. Cavanaugh Lee makes her debut as a novelist just in time for Valentine's Day with SAVE AS DRAFT a novel evolving over emails, texts, and Facebook messages that makes you wonder if the things we leave unsaid—or rather unsent—could change the story of our lives.

It's already getting great pre-pub praise. Check out this quote from Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, authors of the New York Times bestselling The Nanny Diaries

“Reading Save as Draft gives the vicarious thrill of peeking where one shouldn’t only to get drawn in by the warm and funny heartbeat with which Cavanaugh Lee has infused this up-to-the-second modern romance. We haven’t wanted a guy to hit ‘send’ this badly since college—a truly good time!”

This is a book I immediately fell in love with and read in one sitting (well, except for when I kept running to E's room exclaiming "this is just like me!"). Suffice to say, I highly recommend as a pre-purchase on Amazon-until your copy lands, you can enjoy Cavanaugh's daily insight on her newly launched blog.



Get ready to ENJOY-I did!



I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 226-Older and Wiser?

Older and wiser? Or just plain older? That seems to be the universal birthday dilemma, but after a minor drop in morale the day before the Big Day, I'm feeling pretty good. There's nothing like a pizza party at work and people (you haven't seen in years) posting well wishes on your Facebook wall to make you feel loved-not to mention the fun makeup E gave me to play with or the flowers G sent with the unforgettable note of

But birthdays can be bittersweet so to ban any blah moments, I decided to focus less on myself and more of what I'm grateful for.

I'm grateful for my family-I'm truly blessed to have such a wonderful support system.

I'm grateful for new friends and old-When I moved to NYC, I knew only one person. Three years later, I've found my circle yet am still am lucky enough to pick up where I left off anytime I talk to my friends from college & high school.

I'm grateful for two wonderful roommates-E always pushes me to be my best self, even though I resist at times. And little B evokes love every time she runs through the room.

I'm grateful to live in a city as vibrant and stimulating as New York City-My experiences here, both good and bad, have shaped me into adulthood. The Big Apple has been a most excellent finishing school, and I continue to be in awe everytime I step outside my door. And I"m wise enough to know that feeling is immeasurable.

I'm grateful to have loved-During times of reflection, it's hard not to think of those that aren't a part of day to day life anymore. Yet, I'm grateful they were in my life, if even for a short while, to teach me and help me grow.

I'm grateful for new experiences every day and adventures to come-I am very fortunate to grow up in a time where, even if Social Security is depleting, there's no limit to who you can become in your lifetime. I'm not limited to certain career choices, and I haven't had to marry to verify my worth. I support my little 650 square foot apartment with my day job and still get to follow my passions. And for that freedom, I truly feel lucky.

I'm grateful for this blog-my OTMITM year is almost at over yet many doors have already been opened to me. While I know this isn't because of the blog, per se, I know that the blog and writing has changed my perspective. And THAT has made the difference.

So as I move forward into a new year, I hope to have moments of thanks every day. Because it's easy to focus on what you don't have in life, but a truly wise person knows to be grateful for all she does.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 228-Seven Short Hours Left in the Year

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm just not feeling celebratory. Maybe it's the weather-it's been miserably gray and rainy out. Maybe it's the fact that I'm too tired, have to work or am pms-ing. Maybe it's the fact that I've been cutting down on those feel good carbs and am missing their comfort. Or that my family and some of my friends are hundreds of miles away. Oh, let's face it-all of the above.

But in seven short hours, another birthday will be here, and with it, I'm forced to recognize that another year has gone by. In some ways, I'm farther along than I thought I'd be; in others, I haven't accomplished half of what I meant to. I'm grateful for all the good that has come my way, this past month especially, but I'm really struggling with being fabulous this moment.

No idea what my problem is, but as a pre-birthday gift, I think I'll forgive myself the self-psycho analysis tonight, grab dinner, go home and crawl into bed. Thank goodness the real thing isn't until tomorrow-after getting the bittersweet blahs out of the way tonight, I'll be ready to embrace the spirit of celebration for my 26th year when the sun rises (and after I've had my free birthday chai latte courtesy of Starbucks!).

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment

Day 229-On a Ledge

I really don't know how actors do it every day-5am call time to be on set equals a 8pm bedtime the night before, followed by the alarm going off at 4am. That's assuming you want to be bright-eyed and refreshed for the shoot. And have no social life.

Otherwise, you can try to go out until 1am, powernap for two hours unsuccessfully while your cell buzzes with texts and the drunks on St. Marks try to work their way into a fight, and THEN wake up at 4am to make it to set on time. This is only a successful endeavor if you don't have any lines to remember or don't have to ever be fully awake-and of course, only if vizine and great makeup can cover up blurry eyes and lines.

I tried both approaches this weekend, and I'm totally undecided about which approach is better. See my friends or get more sleep? Thankfully, all I had to do this time was show up to the set of Man on a Ledge and watch Kira Sedgwick, Ed Harris, and Sam Worthington do their thing.

And, of course, stand for 12 hours in 3-inch high heeled boots at the corner of the Roosevelt Hotel. Though don't thing I can complain with Sam's stunt double is free-falling into the street.

Over the past few weeks, I've realized that being a good actor requires a commitment which few people know about. Long rehearsals and shows make for little social life-you're awake when others are sleeping and vice-versa. Then, there's the healthy eating and exercise routine that somehow must be fit in on a daily basis, not to mention the fact that good actors spend a lot of work and time doing research for their roles. Even with the money that some starlets get, they're freezing on shoots or withstanding the pain of hours in uncomfortable shoes.

I haven't figured out how to maintain the lifestyle or balance the schedule, so forgive me for my zombie status if you meet me on the street or my OTMITM posts stop making sense. The only thing I know right now is that even if I'm not on stage or camera yet myself, this is where I get my high.

I may have lost my sense of self at the beginning of the summer, but if a little heartache was what it took to find some direction, then what the hell. It sure was worth it.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment! And on the street of 45th and Madison for one more weekend filming Man on a Ledge!

Day 234-There's a First Time for Everything

There's a first time for everything, and living in New York City makes for a lot of firsts. Tonight was my debut trip to the famed music locale, Carnegie Hall. The event? To hear violinist Robert McDuffie's play Philip Glass Violin Concerto No. 2, “The American Four Seasons,” exclusively written for McDuffie.

McDuffie is an extraordinary performer and Glass is a genius composer. For those who didn't make it to the Carnegie Hall performance, here's a chance to listen to America's Vivaldi.

Enjoy!

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 235-Signed, Sealed, Delivered-I'm Yours Single Edition

I've officially signed my life away for the next year! Off the Market & In the Moment will be continuing until November 2011, though you'll just have to deal with me being On the Market & in the Moment after June 30th.

This is all due to the fact that for the next year, I'll be one of the single gal bloggers under the Single Edition network. Still unsure how everything will unfold but exciting nonetheless!

So here's the shameless promotion. If you're also a blogger who is passionate about dating, relationships or being in the moment in your single life, you can also join! Just check out their website for more information on becoming a partner.

It's all very exciting yet also quite scary. First off, contracts freak me out, but I had a great lawyer friend scope things out, and everything looks great. Now, I'm just facing the truth that I'm not only going to be held to higher standards with writing, but I'm also committed under contract to finish out the year. No more reassuring myself that I can always back out if Mr. Right comes along.

So here's my message to Mr. Right/Prince Harry/Penn Badgley/guy I haven't met yet-please sit tight for eight more months. I'm taking this time for myself so I can be a better us in the future.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 239-Oh What a Week!

Oh what a week! (singing Four Seasons in my head...) I've been on a constant high, my stars have been aligned, and life is buzzing. First off-when it rains, it pours men. Why is it that we go through a drought for months on end, and then suddenly the skies open up and we meet available nice guys left and right? Most of these are landing in the friend department which is fine by me as far as the blog goesl, but I'm still hopeful one of my younger guys will come through...I'm anxious to learn the ropes of casual dating. Thinking like a man. Loving just for the next five minutes. Drinks are pending-will keep you posted.

But in the mean time, I couldn't put life on hold so finally booked my ticket to London! I'll be spending New Year's Eve with two of my best friends and hopefully, some cute Brits. Traveling is one of my new priorities in life, and I cannot wait to visit the other side of the pond. Ring in the New Year in Paris? Oui, oui!

In other news, I got some background work (aka, I'm an extra) on the feature film MAN ON A LEDGE starring Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Ed Harris, and Edward Burns, among others. So for the next three weekends, I'll be portraying a garment district worker from 6am to sundown. There are hundreds of us so camera time is unlikely, but who cares?!?! It's all baby steps in the right direction and let's face it, I'd never thought I'd get that far along in the game.

To top it off, it's finally November! Birthday month to all of us lucky Scorpios (and a few Sagittarius folks). I'm told even years are "sexy years" so here's to 26 getting here soon! With it, only eight months left on the blog and still so much to do. When you measure your life in what you want to accomplish in a year, it's amazing how fast the time really goes by. And meanwhile, I had promised myself that if I was still thinking about "that guy" (you know, the one who started this whole thing) by my birthday, I was giving myself permission to reach out...thankfully, two more weeks until I have to cross that bridge and make a decision. But I'm starting to believe that no matter what, I need to be with someone who I don't have to convince to be with me, despite the spark factor. Such a hard truth to come to grips with.

Oh what a week indeed!

I'm Off the Market & in the Moment!

Day 241-Can't Rain on My Parade

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me I sweated the small stuff too much. Yes, yes, got that, I know. I agree that making and breaking up does not compare with a life and death scenario. It is important to keep things in perspective and focus on the larger picture. But, sometimes, the little stuff is what makes all the difference. For instance...

Wearing a cute outfit or a new pair of shoes can totally affect how high you hold your head.

Sharing your subway pass with a stranded commuter can make you feel connected to a human being.

Being able to enjoy your favorites for dinner can make a weeknight feel special.

Singing at the top of the lungs can make you feel outgoing, even if you're alone in a room.

Buying flowers can make you pause just long enough to appreciate all of the natural beauty of the world.

Tromping through the snow can make you relive your childhood.

Remembering a past love can make you remember what is possible.

Before I get too Raindrops and Roses on you, I realize that these are all superficial factors at play. You indeed need to have a strong grasp on the good stuff inside you to really live in this world because the rest is passing. But in the same breath, I say it's ok to sweat the small stuff because it makes me enjoy the small stuff, too. Being aware of daily up's and down's and changes doesn't make me crazy-it makes me complicated and creative (not to mention, both great at my day job as well as my moonlighting gig as an actor and writer).

I know I'm probably going to fall off my soapbox for proclaiming this, but friend, I agree to disagree. I'm learning not to dwell and still be in the moment. That's what this year is about, and I don't want to miss a second of it, good or bad.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 242-There Should Be More Rules

There should be more rules in dating. Even a a few guidelines would be most beneficial. I've been discussing this very thing with a few friends this week as I've begun to tread on the path towards casual dating. What IS casual dating? Do I need to be upfront of what I'm looking for? Or do I just coast along until told otherwise? Unfortunately, no such code of conduct exists so I've decided to create my own:

• Everyone should wear their Facebook status prominently on their clothing. In a relationship? Thanks for the heads up-can we just be friends? Looking for random play? Me too! Off the Market but still into casual date? Why don't you sit by me...
• After the second date of drinks, dinner is mandatory. Prove to me that you are normal (aka like to eat) and can also hold a decent conversation sans alcohol.
• If you're going to ask for someone's number, call. Girls and guys alike are guilty of this one-why put someone through the anxiety of waiting just because you're on a power trip?
• Until you're three months in, don't have The Talk. Just enjoy casual dating and be in the moment. If we actually had a hard timeline for this, it'd help keep a lot of us from jumping the gun on having the dreaded convo.
• Until you have The Talk and know where you stand, don't give IT up. Yes, I said it. Grandmothers warn you not to give up the farm; Steve Harvey says not to give up the cookie. Whatever the pet name, hold on to it to avoid clouded judgment.
• Don't say things you don't mean and don't make promises you can't keep. We all get excited and have verbal diarrhea from time to time, but try to keep yourself in check when caught up in the moment; this especially pertains to making plans you have no intention of keeping.

Above all...

• Be honest. It truly is the best policy, but unfortunately isn't done enough. I'm not talking about the little things like onion breath. I mean the big picture stuff. Life is just too short.

My list may not consist of totally original points, but I think I've made mine.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 247-Toast to the End of the Tunnel

Happy, happy, happy hour! And I'm in desperate need of one this week.This is a friendly mixer, nonetheless, which means come one, come all for $4 drafts-and bring your cute friend ;)

I'll be scoping out the scene per my usual OTMITM norm, but I'm also conducting market research on the NYC dating scene. Because no matter what these singles tell ya, there's only one reason for a mixer, in my opinion. So how is Half Pint on a Thursday night in the Village? I'm set to find out...

"So, WHAT'S your status, your HONEST reason for being here tonight and what are you planning to be for Halloween?"

Girl 1-Single; To get out of the house and mingle with friends; Waldo

Girl 2-Single; Meet more firiends and see what guys will be like-cute or old? Costume tbd.

Girl 3-Single; Meet boys, totally. German beer maiden.

Girl 4-Married; To party and meet a cool married girl. Lumberjack.

Girl 5-Single. Connect w/ friends in alumnae group. Doesn't know costume yet.

Now the guys...all of which worked in finance, go figure.

Guy 1-married; free drinks, but then they weren't free...Waldo

Guy2-single; to meet nice girls and an excuse to leave work early; Frank Sinatra

Guy3-married; to get out; Edward dildo-hands

Guy4-married to a dog (I told them I was writing first responses!); 1-excuse to go out 2-an opportunity to have a new experience 3-interested in creating a new peer group; 80's rock star

Guy5-single; looking for female friends/to meet a nice girl; someone who has been dead for a long time (ok...)

Guy 7-in a relationship; being a wingman; geek, not a nerd

Finished up with Guy 7 and for the upteenth time, I explained the blog. Unlike, his easygoing counterparts, Guy 7 basically said, "I think that's selfish and immature." EXCUSE ME?!?!? LET ME BETTER EXPLAIN MYSELF....

Yes, I know....but I had my heart broken by someone who was those things.

"But all guys aren't like that."

Yes, I know...but this isn't about other guys. it's about me.

"You just need to be confident and move on."

Yes, I know...that's the point. I'm working on that.

And on it dissolved into a cloudy haze of Bud Light-fueled comments which received a bunch of fiery retorts. Now, this was a guy who had four years on me and a girlfriend, just to clarify. Not someone who was hitting on me or being flirty. He was deadly serious. And in a strange, weird way, he helped. It was my first ANTI-OTMITM encounter, and while I listened to his complaints I held strong. Once I was able to hold off my friends from launching their own counterattacks, I was able to have a frank conversation with the guy.

Along the way, I was enlightened (according to him) on the importance of a girl wanting her guy (sexually) and the importance of a guy making himself desirable-and I was always told it was the other way around?!?!? Not to mention, couples should have the same social routine-homebody and 4am party animals do not a marriage make. And even better, he had previously dated his current girlfriend seven years prior only to dump her when she didn't like him watching Family Guy. With a little wisdom of another long-term relationship in between, they had re-connected based on the fact that he's over the stupid stuff that kept them apart before. He grew up and discovered that some things were more important--being able to enjoy a person when you're in the same room for 12 hours a day, the fact that they will be a good parent, commitment.

I was just polling people on a whim--and because it's a funny conversation starter--but all in all, it led me to meet someone who saw the light at the end of the tunnel, at least farther than I could see. Cheers indeed!

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 251-AND....I'm Back

I'm officially no longer hibernating. Last night marked the first time in awhile where I have rallied on a Saturday to go out. Now, I've certainly been social in the form of happy hours and dinners with friends this past month, but I've been crashing on the weekends being productive yet, socially lame. It was how I was feeling in the moment so I went with it and could have again this weekend except for I was starting to lurk dangerously near the boring category. So I ventured out to meet friends at the West Village spot Village Tavern, which come Saturday, is filled with tons of goodlooking males reveling in college football.



With pizza from lunch making me strong, I had no problem keeping up with the beer drinkers last night, and the fact, that my old crush was across the room didn't help to alleviate my thirst either. We'd had a little bit of interest in each other the first year moving to NYC, but the timing was never right. I was unavailable in a new relationship when he was interested. He was busy playing the field by the time I was able to act on my interest. We'd see each other every few months or so with radio silence in between. I get that this is not the stuff of great romances, but it was always a crush I went back to, and as his interest lessened, mine heightened and got quite a bit desperate since I hadn't met anyone new. Last time I saw him, I pretty much made a fool of myself with a late night text, which was fortunately, ignored by him. Also, fortunately, he doesn't hold it against me, as far as I know. But, embarrased by my behavior, I dwelled on that rejection for TOO long and the experience with him naturally, was one of the of the catalysts for OTMITM.



I was prepared to see him and was ready to prove that I wasn't that girl who had a momentary lapse in reason last time we were together, but was instead, fun and lowkey like I really can be with my judgment isn't clouded by alcohol and desperation. Yet, I wasn't prepared to see the girlfriend who was perfectly lovely. We left soon after, but the little encounter got me thinking and six beers in I found myself surrounded by all of these happy couples, who I very much love, at a midnight crossroad: Do I want to continue to be happy drunk or will I be the depressed "woe is me-he didn't choose me" drunk?

Thank goodness, I was able to pull myself up from my bootstraps this time and rally. No need to embarass myself a SECOND time. A teacher of mine once said that at an end of a relationship (or a potential one), an intelligent person 1-recognizes that the bad feelings mainly come from a hurt ego and 2-knows when to move on. So onward and forward I go!

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 256-It's A Little Bit Funny

Sometimes, life is just a little bit funny. As you may have noticed, or not, I've been a little slow to post lately. "Tis the busiest time of the year at work so I've been a bit slack as I up my consumption of sugar and caffeine to get tasks accomplished and send everything else to the backburner. But here I am again, letting you know what's going on in my sideways world

examining life and love.

Despite a much-needed and restful weekend, partly spent in the Hudson Valley hiking and wine-tasting with girlfriends, I have been feeling a bit disgruntled with Cupid lately. It just seems that it's much too difficult for human beings to fall in love these days. I meet a lot of peope. I connect with a few. I date fewer. But not only are we constantly in conflict with each other for various and sundry reasons, but we're also often struggling against ourselves.

Now I know that it's the diversity in life that makes it so darn interesting, but seriously, all that Spark talk last week started stressing me out a bit. If the spark doesn't come by but so often, am I going to be sitting around waiting for this person to take his sweet time in showing up?

HOLD UP. Red flagging myself here-"sitting around" and "waiting for this person" is clearly not "In the Moment" behavior. Rather than self-edit with my delete key, I decided to leave this scary thought in so you might believe how easily old conditioning returns...



Ok, back to case in point. These days, it seems as if love is harder to find than ever, especially when you're looking for someone who not only returns your sentiments equally but also, has the ever-elusive quality of being "ready" for a relationship.

I vented these feelings to my friend K today via email then went about my business because like I mentioned, 'tis the busiest time of the year.

When I finally graced my doorway at 8pm after concluding all writing I've been doing instead of blogging, I checked in with my new bestfriend Bberry and saw I got an audition call for Thursday. Immediately, my mind was back on the career track, far away from the detour of Cupid bashing I'd taken earlier in the day.

I may be searching for sign, but we're all searching for something, and this was my signal to stop complaining and stay the course: to focus on the moment, rather than worry about the future. Not to mention, why waste time focusing on Cupid when I'm Off the Market anyway?

Then I got further reinforcement from K in response to my venting:"It is the one thing in your life that you have no control over. You are like me and are very driven and like to choose your own future. This is why it is so frustrating when you have to wait for someone else to get their act together."

It's a little bit funny how well my friends and the universe know me, and both parties are thankfully, keeping me in check.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 270-STOOD UP

September is usually a crazy time at work-but wait, it's now October and equally as frantic. I'm barely getting by and hardly keeping up with everything that has to be done. And blogging? I’ve been told by E that my inner flame is dimming (aka posts haven’t been as spicy or enlightening lately).

Yes, I’m aware! No excuse other than my brain cells and budget are stretched a little thin right now. But nothing will bring back a little spice better than being angry at someone. After rushing from work uptown to a downtown cd launch party at Le Poisson Rouge tonight, I cabbed it back uptown to meet my acting partner for a quick and dirty late night rehearsal. Told ya acting was like dating…

And I got stood up!

We were supposed to meet at 8:30pm and I waited for 30 minutes for a no-show. Also, I haven’t received a followup call or text to explain his absence though I called and texted to make sure he was ok.

My gut reaction was to feel like crap (not to mention feeling uber-frustrated that I spent $10 to make it uptown in time and missed the rest of my party). Why is this happening to me and why am I reacting as if this was personal?

Getting over that, I wondered if something bad happened to him which brought on guilt for feeling earlier frustrations. On the hopeful end of the spectrum, he had a late night screening for his movie so maybe he was called in early. Or maybe his new director called him away for a separate rehearsal. Or maybe I just got our days and times mixed up even though we texted about this at 6pm this evening?

THEN, I got mad at myself that I was immediately letting him off the hook-why do I always explain away guys’ inconsiderate behavior? And why am I getting angry at myself instead of the source? The excuses go on and on, but there is no excuse. I’m running around town like a madwoman trying to make appointments left and right, and he can’t so much as send a TEXT?

I’ve never been stood up before, which is more a symptom of my serial monogamist nature than being lucky, but this feeling is close enough to home for me, even if we’re not dating. I depend on this guy and that’s enough to count.

What's really funny is that only hours before at Le Poisson Rouge, I had been talking about missing my dating life. But after tonight, I’m now looking forward to nine more months of not having to deal with crap like this.

I’m Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 271-An Actor's View

I pulled out the tights and boots this morning-cool weather has officially arrived in NYC and with it, another month down for Off the Market & In the Moment. Somehow nine months to go sounds much more manageable than 10. Regardless, I have to say October started off to a slow start socially. I spent the majority of the weekend inside hibernating since payday isn't until Tuesday. Other than a trip out to hit up the post office, Salvation Army and Wendy's, I lounged around being absolutely lazy and read The Girl Who Played with Fire. I would have done the same on Sunday but thankfully, paying for an acting class is a sure to get me outdoors.

So what did I learn in class this week? Apparently, there are no men left. According to my acting teacher, the men in today's world are either married, gay or assholes. Not surprising, the majority of females in my classroom nodded in agreement which I found to be both reassuring (at least it's not just me who thinks this from time to time) and a little sad if this is indeed our reality.

On the other end of the spectrum, my class apparently has a high rate for students meeting/dating/getting married-though wonder what it means that I've taken not one but four classes without so much as a date?

This is also the same class where we conducted a divorce survey (changing scenes allows for a lot of chat time, and our teacher uses us to conduct his latest sociology polls). Want to know why the divorce rate is so high? Apparently, HB Studio's Scene Study & Technique students have all the answers which I intended to numerate here but have fortunately blocked out most of them in an effort to stay pleasantly positive. But they were something along the lines of too many options, blah, blah, blah.

Even when I'm in a class where you spend three hours playing, I'm forced to think about relationships. How to relate to my partner, how to relate through actions, how to relate to my objective-and now we're analyzing each other's real-life relationships on the side. Performing a "woe is me, my heart is broken" monologue is sure to land you questions about your last love. Though I love it because I get to explore human nature and analyze in a good way-our teacher practically doubles as a therapist as any good director should-it is still hard to take in some of the discussion that have come out of class lately.

I don't want to believe that marriage is on a downfall, divorce is inevitable or there are no good guys left. When I started this blog, I saw the bit of Cinderella-syndrome I had as a bad thing. Now, I think it's really important to hold on as hard as I can to some of the faith that is instilled in us as kids. It keeps me afloat and personally, I just prefer to live my life with a side of comedy, whether I'm on stage or off.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 275-Music and Movie I Must Brag About

Today, we're taking a detour from the Off the Market & In the Moment path to give some shameless publicity to some up and comers I know. First off, my wonderful acting partner Nathan stars in Enter the Void, written and directed by Gaspar Noé. The film, which has been praised by the New York Times and Salon among other outlets, is currently playing at IFC here in the city and will formally open to audiences in October. Personally, I'm hoping if rehearsals go well, I'll get to accompany him to Cannes Film Festival next year...So check it out!

On another note, rather a musical one, I'll be venturing to Banjo Jim's tonight to check out a performance by Cash Fur Gold. One of the guys I dated first introduced me to the venue this past spring, and I was hooked (especially since it's walking distance from my apartment) so I can't wait to go back tonight.

In the words of one of the band members, "Stop by if you'd like to get rocked by sweet sweet American music with a New England twist that reminds you of a not too salty but still very tasty clam chowder."

How enticing is that? Throw in the fact that there's no cover to get in the door and cheap PBR, and you've got the makings for a perfect evening. If you can't make it to listen live tonight, keep these guys on your radar!

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 277-Review: Sofia’s Wine Bar

Yesterday, I found out a friend of mine was moving at the week’s end so being in the moment, I scrapped earlier intentions of working out and scrambled to find somewhere for us to meet for drinks in Midtown post-work.

This area of the Big Apple can be tricky. It has some of the most wonderful restaurants, but subsequently, the prices can be too much for my Off the Market, In the Moment, On a Budget self. So I nixed my big-spender notions of lounging with champagne in the Algonquin Hotel lobby or bellying up to the infamous King Cole Bar at the St. Regis in favor of another idea given to me by NYMag.com: Sofia’s Wine Bar.

The magazine has never led me wrong, but with Manhattan, the truth is you just never know (though let’s be honest, my toes were hurting so much from walking four avenues in heels that by the time I got there, I would have stayed put no matter what the spot looked like). As it was, Sofia’s swept my friend and me off our tired little feet.

I arrived early and ventured in to the dimly lit, brick-walled café solo and looking lost but was made to feel immediately at home by the handsome Italian bartender who greeted me with “Hello Bella.” Swoon. My friend came in moments later, and we were given our pick of seating in the cozy restaurant as another handsome Italian, our waiter, arrived to offer suggestions on the more than 80 wines offered by the glass. Though we were one of “those” tables that couldn’t commit to a choice right away (we hadn’t seen each other in months and had to catch up before focusing on the menu), he was patient and even brought a few selections for my friend to taste before making her selection.

The service had already won our favor, but we were further wooed by the simple, homey touches. Mix-matched plates and dishtowels serving as napkins created a feeling of sitting in your Nonnna’s kitchen. Small plates were available, in addition to the standard antipasti, and we happily shared a margherita pizza between us, which was both tasty as well as the perfect portion. Amid bites, I think we said “I love this place,” ten times. And let’s not forget, you can always tell a quality spot by the restaurant’s WC, which I found to be cozy (as strange as that sounds) with fun touches such as olive oil handwash.

In the Moment: Already dubbed a Critics’ Pick by New York magazine, I expected the spot to be packed. But despite our last minute plans, it was easy to grab a table when we arrived and we were never rushed, despite the fact we were slow to both order and eat.

Off the Market: Sofia’s is a great spot off the busier avenues for catching up with friends and significant others, but it’s also Off the Market Friendly. Unlike some other venues, I would be totally comfortable enjoying a glass solo at the bar, chatting with the friendly staff. In fact, a few people were winding down their day without giving off the “weird single guy” or “girl wanting to be picked up” vibe.

On a Budget: The price point mid-range, but the service, food, and wine were most excellent, and the ability to split a meal won us over. The breakdown: $22 on half a pizza and a full glass of Sauvignon Blanc. This is a must-know-about spot for anyone working in Midtown who wants to avoid the crowd of P.J. Clarke’s or the exorbitant dollar signs of hotel bars.

Sofia’s Wine Bar
242 East 50th Street (between 2nd and 3rd Avenues)

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 278-To Sum It All Up

To sum it all up-K & G's wedding was perfect! The weather was gorgeous, the location ideal, and the ceremony simply sweet. Of course, I have a few favorite moments to share:

-Watching my beautiful friend walk down the aisle-such a precious moment!

-Laughing as the groom practically forgot his line-is it "Yes" or "I do"????

-Seeing a former flame with his gorgeous new girlfriend (and her beautiful Louboutins!) and not feeling jealous, despite my single status....

As I was thereby able to flirt with the many single (thank goodness) males, many of which are friends that I've had crushes on throughout the years. And I was overdue for some crushing!

-Tasting frozen mojitos for the first time-they're even yummier than the original.

-Being the first on the dance floor with two of my friends-after an awkward few minutes, the rest of the group took pity on us and got jiggy with it Will Smith-style. I'm pretty sure I busted out a Roger Rabbit at some point in the evening as well...

-Grooving with the groom for "Single Ladies"-he rocks it better than Beyonce herself!

-Trying (and failing again) to catch that darn bouquet. It pays to be tall in this contest but regardless of the outcome, I somehow still walked away with the bouquet at the end of the evening. That's got to count for something!

-Drinking the largest beer of my life at Jeremy's Ale House-it took two of my little hands to not spill this 32-ouncer. A career as a beer maiden is not in my future.

-Dinner at Artichoke pizza-a first time visit for me and a must-stop for future pizza cravings in the East Village.

-Ending the night with karaoke at Planet Rose and a rendition of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire with buddies A. and P. Had a blast, but my heart still belongs to Sing-Sing even though the bartenders at this bar despense free NYC condoms- since when are karaoke bars a hotspot for getting lucky?

Finally...

-Being one of the last ones standing and still getting in bed by 10:30pm. And that, my friends, is priceless.

So now that wedding season has concluded, I can't help but feel a bit sad. There are no more bachelorettes, crazy Kozak moments, or let's face it, free dinners in my near future. So if any of you are wondering whether to pop the question, DO IT. I'm counting on you because 'til next year...

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 282-Bigger Than the Blog

Believe it or not, some things in life are bigger than this blog. For instance, I'm proud to announce that my sister's baby was born yesterday! So yes, baby Charles though only 6 lbs., 8.8 ounces carries more weight than anything I can write about on this site. I can't wait to watch my sister and brother-in-law be parents, and of course, I'm plain ol' excited to get to know the little guy!

The other event is K and G's wedding this weekend. Festivities begin tonight with her first shower/dinner followed by the bridal luncheon tomorrow then rehearsal dinner followed by the big day on Saturday. It will be quite a whirlwind, but I'm so honored to be part of this celebration, especially since K was someone who I met three years ago when she wasn't sure she wanted to get married, let alone have a wedding. Yet, I have thoroughly enjoyed watching their relationship change and grow over the years. This couple inspires me daily, and I am so proud to call them my very good friends.

I am already being sappy enough, but these two beginnings serve as important reminders to me of all that is really good in life. There are sure to be hard times on the road ahead, but these families are starting out with a whole lotta love to pave the way.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 283-I Smell A Rat

I smell a rat. Ok, they're just little mice, but they have moved it to wreak havoc on my sleep and our cozy little East Village apartment.

A colleague of mine asked about the progress of the blog last night. Was I turning down dates left and right? Am I pressing palms with the publishing folk I know for possible book deal leads? No, I'm not on track to be the next Candace Bushnell because instead of being out and about in the city's hotspots, I'm home trying to maintain my sanity by setting up traps.

How off is that? This is New York City after all so thankfully, a few furry visitors are not a reflection of our housekeeping skills. Kelly Ripa has even had them on the 60-something floor! Instead, it's a symptom of the cool weather, living above countless restaurants, the work being done in our building and most importantly--the tiny little hole that exists behind our dish washer that I'm positive serves as some sort of welcome mat for our little visitors.

It takes a few weeks to realize that they've arrived yet again. I want life to stay as blissful as before so for awhile, it's easy to ignore the telltales signs--such as unaccounted for rustling behind appliances when lights are off--because I just don't want to believe it's true. And then if you actually see a little guy? Well, they're cute! Just as sweet-looking as any pet so you foolishly convince yourself into thinking he's just passing through and no harm will come of him hanging out for a bit.

Then, it's too late. Hell breaks lose, and the mice take over my existence.

That was last fall, but thankfully, we're not as bad as all that this year. YET. And I'd like to think I've learned my lesson not to wait around when I get a whiff of trouble in the air (or see poop in the corner).

Now what about those TWO-legged rats running around the city and portraying themselves as cute-faced cuddlebuddies?

I want to say I'm doing a better job of detecting guys with bad intentions, but I'm really not sure. There are a few boyfriends from relationships past where I've only just now begun to wonder if I wasn't played. But there's a fine, fine line to walk so as not to become a jaded female in this city, and I prefer to stay on the optimistic side rather than remain bitter. I'm sure that this is to my detriment, but I lean towards thinking the human condition is innocent, kind and well-meaning until proven not. And frankly, a girl can get depressed if she thinks he said what he said to possibly get ahead in the game, and who are we kidding, I'm already walking along the edge after playing exterminator at 4am.

So time to go home and do some major killing tonight before we're overrun by the suckers. But before you pass judgment on our deeds, remember I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

Being sexy in the city will have to wait.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 288-Gotta be Organic

Went to a voice lesson last night and was told by my instructor to focus more on letting my voice come out organically. In other words, don't force it.

EXCUSE ME? So apparently, my control freakiness is also coming out in my singing in addition to other parts of my life. Which means that things are probably not going to go much better until I learn to let it flow.

Ok, so I'm hearing yet again I'm being told to take a break. Don't work so hard. Let go. Unwind. Don't worry, be happy.

I would like to coast a bit, but the more I try to just enjoy the ride, the more uncomfortable it is. It's like when I'm flying down a rollercoaster track at breakneck speed and while it's exciting, it sure is scary, not to mention, makes my stomach flop. If I release the bars to let my hands fly up, I may fly out of the car and splatter on the pavement next to the carousel.

So yes, being in control makes me feel much more comfortable, but it's obviously limiting my experience in various aspects of my life. What's the worst that can happen if I let myself go?

In singing, I may hit a wrong note. Well, I've done that before and lived to tell the tale (though I'm still haunted by my fifth grade talent show). OR, I may finally hit that awesomely high belt I know I can because I constantly do it in the shower or while bar-hopping (inhibitions lowered).

Similarly, when I've been relaxed and let relationships unfold, I had the best time of my life. When it started to make me nervous? I held onto it for dear life and subsequently, pushed it away.

I don't even have to explain how being organic affects acting, my other passion. All in the Method.

OK. deep breath It's pretty obvious that not only do I have to be in the moment this year, but I have to organically be in the moment as well. But the confusing part is how to get there. Do I really just let go and let life unfold? And does that mean hard work isn't as essential to having an open mind? Is it all about re-focusing your energy? Or caring less?

I'm sure fear is a big culprit, but I don't know how to get past it with out pushing myself again. So I guess I'll be stuck for the moment. And that is me being truthfully, organic.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 290-Power Day

This was a power day which means I only have time for a power post. Prepare for brevity:

• Woke up at 7:50am; snoozed until 7:55am. Breakfast & caffeine fix #1-Green tea.
• Running late so took subway. Hot guy radar is on & ready but NO RESULTS.
• Check voicemail, scan email, and caffeine fix #2-Diet Coke, only utilized in emergency situations
• 10:45am Conference call with novelist. Diet Coke has yet kicked in so I managed to jumble "reciprocity" when trying to explain social media.
• 11:45am Sprint two avenues and one block to Sirius XM to meet another novelist for interview. Manage bubbly yet power publicist demeanor while still casting sideways glances at National Hockey Players standing in elevator vestibule. Love the perks of the job!
• 12:45pm Primp on the run to lunch at The Modern. Manage to slow down long enough to enjoy decadent bites of goat cheese salad, monkfish, and Caffeine #3 & 4-iced tea- and #5-cappucino.
• 2:30pm Still starving (damn those small-albeit yummy-plates), check emails and fight the caffeine haze
• 3:30pm Powerwalk ten blocks to client meeting #3
• 5:30pm Bus it back (walking is overrated) to check email and inhale breakfast bar (oh how we fall from Danny Meyer amazingness back to FiberOne).
• 6:30pm Rush to St. Bart's Players audition; calm down long enough to sing moderately well yet totally forgot to act.
• 8:00pm Powerwalk across midtown to babysit. Swing by Subway and fight meatball urge and go for healthy turkey, with DORITOS. But baked version!
• 8:30pm Discover parents have HBO on Demand! True Blood-season 3, episode 1
• 9:30pm True Blood-episode 2. Wait for callback from audition.
• 10:30pm True Blood-episode 3. Wait for callback from audition.
• 11:30pm Give up on callback and chalk another audition up to "experience." Spend hard earned cash on $6 taxi from 55th street to Times Square where there are bodies on the street. Subway home.
• MIDNIGHT Discover #2 cute guy heading in building at the same time!
• 1:00am FINIS.

Must make a point to have more power days.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 291-Must Have's/Can't Stand List

I was once working on a relationship book at the same time I had just started seeing someone. As a result, my Facebook profile was often flooded with tips and how-to’s from the book which made for interesting conversation between the guy and me, especially when I posted that every lady should have a Must Have/Can’t Stand List for potential partners. I’ve always had a rough draft of this in my head, but I was surprised when the guy actually asked if I had such a list and if so, what was on it. Instead of being truthful and forward, I jokingly said it was my secret, only alluding that laughter was a priority so he could thankfully, mark off that item.

During a low point of loneliness and exhaustion last night, I thought of my list, or rather lack of one. Now keep in mind, the list isn't meant to find a perfect person, but rather, a guideline for what qualities in a partner are important to you. Since I don’t have my qualities on paper, it’s no surprise that my Must-Have’s/Can’t Stands tend to get fuzzy once chemistry enters the scene. So what better time than now to create one while I’m Off the Market and (somewhat) clear-headed?

Here goes...

Must-Have’s

· Family. I’m not saying now or five years from now, but kids and pets are part of my picture

· Commitment. I need someone who will both pursue me as well as fight for our relationship if/when times get rocky

· Laughter. Enough said!

· A sense of adventure, found in the simplest form of just trying new things or in the most amazing form, a love of travel

· Ambition, either in his career or another passion

· Good finances. I don’t expect anyone to be responsible for my cash flow so I expect to be with someone who can take care of his

· Brains and a lot of ‘em. I’m a bit of a nerd and need someone who can actively participate in good conversation and better yet, witty banter

· Spirituality. Couples are better with it than without it, in my opinion.

· Attraction. Yes, it fades with age, but who are we kidding? If we’re not feeling each others’ looks, the road is going to look really, really long.

Can’t Stand’s

· Having to do all the planning myself. Yes, I’m organized and enjoy planning exciting adventures, but 50 years of doing all of it is not going to fly

· Close-mindedness. If it’s your way or the highway, don’t bother knocking on my door. I need someone who knows how to “agree to disagree” and “compromise”

· Slobs. I have a pile of laundry just like everyone else, but I don’t want to be someone’s maid.

· Excessive drinking and smoking. There, I said it, and I’ve probably ostracized half of Manhattan now. While I love, love, love margarita and Blue Moon, late nights out, and partying (and I’ve definitely had my fair share of mornings spent with head over the toilet), I also want someone who knows the value in taking care of himself for both his sake and his family. While this isn’t a deal-breaker per se, being constantly hungover makes it difficult to go on must-have adventures.

Strangely, I feel a sense of progress having made this list. I guess it comes down to figuring out what I want, which is what this year is all about.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 292-The Sexes

Had a great time this weekend with the family in town. Watched a lot of tennis. Ate a lot of great food (Love prosciutto and parmesan? Check out Mario Batali's new endeavor EATALY). But I couldn't shake what was around me.

Couples.

I wasn't seeking these people out, but everywhere I turned, it seemed that New Yorkers were paired up like they were about to board an ark or something. And once you notice a few couples, you pick up on more and more and more. The people canoodling in front of me at Madison Square Park did not improve matters, but even more so, it really frustrated me that 1-I noticed at all and 2-I felt left out. I had just posted that I was acclimating pretty well to Off the Market living, too. Why am I suddenly missing being in a relationship?

Thankfully, I was saved from over-analyzing from my acting teacher when he bestowed upon me a good-looking scene partner who I'll be working with for the coming month(s) AND a scene by Dorothy Parker (how weird that only the day before I had been wanting a copy of her collection and here was not only my excuse to buy it, but live it out?).

Not familiar with Ms. Parker? Well, if you love quick wit coupled with martinis and 1920's fashion, you must check her out. Here are a few teasers:

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

"Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne."

"I wish I could drink like a lady. I can take one or two at the most. Three and I'm under the table. Four and I'm under the host."

"I hate writing, I love having written."

"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."

Parker was a critic, a member of the infamous Algonquin Round Table and a writer in her own right; I'm working on one of her hilarious short stories, The Sexes, which takes a clever look at the ridiculous misspeaking which occurs between genders. Who needs relationships? I'll be busy fighting in the battle of the sexes this semester.

Before sparring, it's time to get to know my partner-quickly and intimately-while we figure out how to work together and whether we have the chemistry it takes to go the distance.

Hmm...sounds a bit like dating, doesn't it?

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment

Day 297-Only the Beginning

Just realized that I haven't stopped moving long enough to appreciate the fact that I'm now in the 200's! As in 297 days left of Off the Market & In the Moment. I'm slowly making my way. SLOWLY. 10 months to go.

Remember, this is a marathon. Not a sprint.

In fact, it seems a bit ridiculous to be celebrating. Nevertheless, I'm super excited I've made it so far. After the initial shock of pulling myself Off the Market and learning to be In the Moment, I've adjusted quite nicely. Honestly, the writing is more difficult than living sans boyfriends. And there are great perks to yearlong singlehood: I'm more out of my comfort zone than I've ever been; I'm working towards the life I've always wanted; and I don't have to shave my legs every day-YES!

Now that Off the Market & In the Moment is getting some new eyes from around the globe, I thought it'd be worth it to revisit some of my favorite moments thus far:

Day 361 It's Hot Out but I'm Oh So Cool Frigid behavior coupled with friendly advice

Day 350 Taking a Lesson From the Guys Better known as "I don't have a boyfriend. I have a blog!"

Day 349 Lady Who Lunches to Potty Mouth Barbara Walters & my film debut

Day 339 Welcome to Our Neighborhood Friendly Porn Store Baby's first trip!

Day 338 The Other Harry Keeping expectations high

Day 336 24 Things Single Women Wish We Could Tell Men Guys, if you haven't read it, please do. A little insight into the opposite sex here!

Day 335 Old Friends & Sexy New Moves Pole Dancing anyone?

Day 323 Shopping for the Girls And you know which girls I mean!

Day 314 Only in New York can you go to the Museum of Sex, be a background extra, and get a free hug all in the same day

Day 305 Practicing Failing Not my favorite moment by far but good experience

Though there have been some down, down, DOWN days, it's mostly been a fun ride. Better yet, it's still only the beginning.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 305-Practice Failing

Unfortunate news. Didn't make the cut for the choral group. So frustrating. And disappointing. And have I mentioned that I'm not a fan of rejection???

But when you don't get what you want, what do you get? EXPERIENCE.


Yes, it's a good phrase, but it doesn't take away disappointment, at least not for the time being. I know I'm a pretty good singer though in truth, choral stuff is just not my style...I'd rather be part of something like Glee (who wouldn't?) or a band so I guess it's a win-win? I am trying SO hard not to get down on this, mostly because I have to get back on the horse in two weeks if not sooner for another show call. Won't have to sight-sing but will have to hit an E flat...

Nevertheless, I have to resort to my own words from Day 312 If At First You Don't Succeed: keep moving forward, learning...yadayadayada.

See what a pain it is to have a blog sometimes? You can't even let yourself off the hook because your own words are staring you in the face. Here's to more practice at failing!

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

Day 310-No Rings Attached

Off the Market, In the Moment, & On a Budget-my life as so eloquently put by Mrs. Southern on the Inside herself! Despite how depressing my new title sounds, it's just another fun challenge. How can one be both social and in the moment when the bank account is running low??

I did pretty well last night sticking to my two beer budget and still had an absolute blast watching The Junior League Band followed by Hymns, who is rumored to possibly become the next Kings of Leon. Check them out! You won't be disappointed. Lead singer of Hymns is pretty darn cute, too....

But the weekend presents a fresh new conundrum as there's so much to do, and I'm itchin' to be out, about and as social as possible. However, according to BettyConfidential's feature story for the day: No Rings Attached: Being Single Is So Hot Right Now! I should naturally the cool girl on the block, however small my funds. Why?

Because as the article explains, singlehood is officially IN!!! Yes, I'm en vogue. Let's sing it together now:

That song never gets old. I wish you could see me bouncing around to it right now. Or better yet, I wish I had a video of my guy friend G working the moves! Amazing...

Moving on! For all you other single ladies out there, a few more Betty pointers:

Try out these 3 single girl principles for starters:

1. Being Single Does Not Mean Being Alone
One glance at Madonna's boy toy roster is a racy reminder that choosing to remain single does not sentence you to a life as a lonely, old maid. Dating should be about fun and companionship, not trying to beat someone down the aisle. There are very few Mr. Rights out there, but there is no deficit of Mr. Right Nows. If you haven't found the person that fulfills all of your heart’s desires, then don't settle. Date, enjoy his company, and tomorrow evening, call up somebody else. Companionship comes in many forms. Live your life to the fullest until you find someone truly deserving of your forever.

2. Nobody's Judging You For Being Single
I've heard so many women confess their paranoia about their friends gossiping about their inability to find or keep a man. Newsflash! They're really talking about how you've lowered your standards just to be with someone, and how you truly deserve so much more. Marriage should not be a race to the altar, and women who have successful, happy marriages will tell you not to rush. Only unhappy wives would encourage you to hastily commit your life to someone without being 100% certain that he's "the one," and that's just because misery loves company. Don't worry about your girlfriends whispering about your single status. Live it, love it, and embrace it, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind are jealous!

3- Whitney Houston Was Right
No, not about crack being wack (although I'd have to imagine that she's probably right about that too!), but about loving yourself being the greatest love of all. As a single woman, you have the freedom and the flexibility to live your life without abandon. You are free to chase your dreams and create the life you love. You deserve all the happiness that the world has to offer you. Don't limit yourself because you're afraid to be by yourself. Love you first, and just asLife & Style reported Kim's belief that "One day, Mr. Right will turn up and everything will fall into place naturally," the same is true for you. Focus on building your own perfect life, even with no rings attached!

Kelly Beaty is the founder of TheSinglesSalon.com, where singlelistas celebrate and love life...every SINGLE moment of it!

Wait, there's a SinglesSalon? Must check that out. And what's all this talk about self-love c/o Whitney Houston? Well, I didn't know she was the source, but I have been reading about it in a fun novel, HOW TO BE SINGLE. Look for the review this weekend!

I'm Off the Market, In the Moment, On a Budget but don't worry, BEING SINGLE IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW!