Day 288-Gotta be Organic

Went to a voice lesson last night and was told by my instructor to focus more on letting my voice come out organically. In other words, don't force it.

EXCUSE ME? So apparently, my control freakiness is also coming out in my singing in addition to other parts of my life. Which means that things are probably not going to go much better until I learn to let it flow.

Ok, so I'm hearing yet again I'm being told to take a break. Don't work so hard. Let go. Unwind. Don't worry, be happy.

I would like to coast a bit, but the more I try to just enjoy the ride, the more uncomfortable it is. It's like when I'm flying down a rollercoaster track at breakneck speed and while it's exciting, it sure is scary, not to mention, makes my stomach flop. If I release the bars to let my hands fly up, I may fly out of the car and splatter on the pavement next to the carousel.

So yes, being in control makes me feel much more comfortable, but it's obviously limiting my experience in various aspects of my life. What's the worst that can happen if I let myself go?

In singing, I may hit a wrong note. Well, I've done that before and lived to tell the tale (though I'm still haunted by my fifth grade talent show). OR, I may finally hit that awesomely high belt I know I can because I constantly do it in the shower or while bar-hopping (inhibitions lowered).

Similarly, when I've been relaxed and let relationships unfold, I had the best time of my life. When it started to make me nervous? I held onto it for dear life and subsequently, pushed it away.

I don't even have to explain how being organic affects acting, my other passion. All in the Method.

OK. deep breath It's pretty obvious that not only do I have to be in the moment this year, but I have to organically be in the moment as well. But the confusing part is how to get there. Do I really just let go and let life unfold? And does that mean hard work isn't as essential to having an open mind? Is it all about re-focusing your energy? Or caring less?

I'm sure fear is a big culprit, but I don't know how to get past it with out pushing myself again. So I guess I'll be stuck for the moment. And that is me being truthfully, organic.

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!